Dear Joshua,1
Thank you for your kind note. Please accept my sincere apology for the delay in responding. I had, quite frankly, run out of paper and ink. So, I had to trek all the way to Boreal Forest to visit my old friend, Quill, who runs the largest paper mill in the world.
Upon my return, a nor’easter blew through the great forest, forcing me to impose on, yet again, another friend, Robin Goodfellow, who has been throwing some very fine alpine alfresco gatherings of late. I fear I overstayed, but we had such a jolly time telling stories by the fire and drinking hot wassail.
But none of this excuses my delay. My wife sends her regards and is quite well and busy quilting—her favourite hobby. Please do keep in touch, as I do so enjoy hearing from dear friends like yourself. Please give my regards to your sister for winning the “House Cup”—I’ve noted your excellent behaviour of late, as well.
Many Kind Regards,
Santa
I am using aliases to protect the identities of the kind folks who correspond with me.